I want to formally apologize to a certain dear friend of mine who has suffered from IBS long before I ever even dreamed it could happen to me too. I can recall a certain incident involving an emergency shit in someone's unsuspecting hedge in Wallingford on our way down to see the fireworks at Gasworks Park for the 4th of July and my obvious and insensitive annoyance of having to take you back home. There were other occasions too when you complained that you didn't feel well enough to make our dinner date or to come over to some party or another that I was throwing and I sighed in exasperation.
Vengeance is upon me now, and how! All of my eye-rolling and mutterings of 'it can't really be that bad....' started to wane when I began having emergency shits myself, mostly on holiday when dietary indiscretions are inevitable. (Forgive me please for my demarcation of that construction site in Krakow as I was stumbling back to my flat from a late night out with friends, near that pretty little alpine lake in Spain where we just enjoyed a picnic of chorizo and goat's cheese, and that poor little struedel house in Berlin, I enjoyed my wienerschnitzel very much until it turned on me.)
As I'm writing this, I'm writhing in pain from yet another flare up of this weird disorder. I, like many of you I'm sure, thought that IBS was something that was a psychological problem created by stressed out people who if they would just calm down they would feel healthy again like the rest of us. It really wasn't such a big deal, what's the fuss all about? After more than a year of suffering alternating bouts of diarrhea that strikes with cruel precision and often without warning when you're standing in line at the bank, in the car and on a long road trip or going for a run outside Coombe Abbey Country Park and there's not a toilet for 3 miles. And then there's the following weeks of constipation and the painful bloating and discomfort that comes with that and the time spent looking like Hiro from Heroes, stopping time. And then came the medical investigations - some of them invasive, but all of them time consuming, anxiety creating, and ultimately unnecessary.
Why am I going on about this? For one thing, I feel like an ass for being so insensitive (though I don't think ever directly) and not taking the time to understand what a dear friend was going through. It's embarrassing, to say the least, to sheepishly explain that you have to leave the movie cinema immediately or you might explode. I get that now. I also hope to be some kind of advocate for raising awareness about IBS, it's likely that you know someone who has it - they say 1 in 5 Americans will have it at some point in their lifetimes. Some 4 million Brits are affected.
From Heather Van Vorous, IBS expert "IBS is indisputably a physical problem. Simply put, the brain-gut interaction of people with IBS influences their bowel pain perception and motility. In a nutshell, the processing of pain information within the central nervous system varies between normal individuals and those of us with IBS, with the result that we can experience even normal GI contractions as painful. The interactions between our brains, central nervous systems and GI systems are just not functioning properly. We have colons that react to stimuli that do not affect normal colons, and our reactions are much more severe."
This morning, I measured my amazing bloated girth. Even my husband is suspicious that I'm 5 months pregnant, and he knows better. My waist is normally large at 35 inches, but it has today expanded to an incredible 43 inches. I can't bend at the waist. I don't have any clothes that I can wear comfortably, and with the painful contractions from being so blocked up that drop me to my knees on occasion, I'm really not able to leave the house today.
4 comments:
No apologies necessary, my far-away friend. I am so very sorry you're having to endure this hell. It's so incredibly frustrating to have such hellacious symptoms and not a spot of disease anywhere. My tum seems to have mellowed in the last few years, though it seems others in my family/circle of friends are getting his much harder. Take care of yourself, let me know if I can help or offer any advice. Much love,
E-
seems we share a common friend (she sent me the link, here's hoping she doesn't mind i am commenting), other than to say i am quite sorry for the misery you are going through. i spent years with Crohn's Disease and still to this day (even though I am pretty much fine now) I carry Imodium with me everywhere I go. For years and years I would take it before getting on any and all airplanes because there is nothing like the absolute hell of a flare-up on a 6 hour flight. I wish you nothing but luck and good digestion. I hope it settles down soon.
So sorry to hear about your flare-up and I hope everything settles down into a regular pattern soon (it may not be the same pattern as before, but at least it's predictable).
Have you seen a specialist(s) who has confirmed that you have IBS? I don't want to worry you unnecessarily but a few yers ago, I was misdiagnosed with IBS. I was fortunate to have a caring and persistent doctor who had an extensive network of specialists on his rolodex. Thanks to his dedication and tenacity, after a year of tests, I was diagnosed with a cantaloup-sized benign tumour on my right kidney (!) It's now been almost 3 years since the surgery to remove "the cantaloup" and my GI system is perfect. My best wishes to you for good health.
Thanks for your love and support, ladies. I can feel it from here.
xo,
Bee
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