I don't mean to suggest for a minute that we wouldn't have gotten married if not pressured into it by our geography and border control, but it certainly happened a lot sooner than either of us would have ideally wanted it to be. I think it caught my friends and family a little off guard, truth be told, when I left Seattle bound for a teaching job in Poland in November and returned a year later with an engagement ring and wedding bells in my ears. Nevertheless, we managed to pull it off in the end and I'm happy to report that neither of us regret rushing into it to this day.
Thinking back on that six months or so that I was here in England, not able to work and trying desperately to find my feet while wading through the ocean of information about work permits and fiancee visas and marriage visas cloaked in codewords like K-1's and INF4's and mysterious terminology such as 'indefinite leave to remain' and 'present and settled' and asking myself am I a 'highly skilled migrant worker'? is enough to make my head spin even now.
I thought I'd lay out what we did to sort through it all, so that maybe it'll make it just that much easier for someone else to figure it out should you find yourself in love with an Englishman (or woman). I'm about to get really specific so you may be a little bored, dear reader, if this stuff doesn't apply to you.I don't know it yet, but he's about to propose! There's champagne in it that backpack and everything!
The easiest way to accomplish marrying your beloved Brit, is to have the wedding in the States while he/she is visiting on their passport - the visa waiver programme gives UK residents 90 days in the US without any special permits and doesn't require any special visa to have a wedding in the States - then to return to England on a UK marriage visa.
The UK requires a special visa to have a wedding in Britain. This can take up to 6 months to obtain. You can also enter the country on a fiancee visa for 6 months- however you can't work and you still need the wedding visa to get married here. This is obviously an option, but an expensive one - keep in mind that each visa has a minimum fee of around 100 pounds sterling. Also US citizens are allowed 6 months in the UK without a visa anyway.
Note: I can only speak with any authority about how to marry and settle in Britain. I think settling in the US is whole lot more complicated and I am heartily postponing that mess for a few more years.
From the UK government website (www.ukvisas.gov.uk) :
You can obtain a marriage visa to settle in the UK if
- you are legally married to each other or are in a civil partnership recognised in the UK
- your husband, wife or civil partner is present and settled in the UK (see the next section)
- you both intend to live together permanently as husband and wife or as civil partners
- you have met each other before
- you can support yourselves and any dependants without any help from public funds
- you have suitable accommodation, which is owned or lived in only by you and your household, and where you and your dependants can live without any help from public funds
- your husband, wife or civil partner is not under 18, and
- you are not under 18.
There are a couple of expat/travellers web forums that I found useful when I was researching how to do this marriage visa thing; easyexpat.com and justlanded.com where you'll find other people who are going through the same hair pulling process as you. Another informational website is globalvisas.com though stick to the government websites like the homeoffice.gov for the final say and to double check fees and everything.
This can be a really expensive process - it's not only the cost of moving overseas with all of my belongings, but the visas themselves are very expensive, not to mention the cost of flying to LA and holing up in a hotel for a few days while my passport was processed, and having to prove you have enough money in your bank account to live in Britain without recourse to public funds!! After 2 years, a landmark I am now approaching, I must apply for indefinite leave to remain which is fancy-talk for permanent residency and costs 510 pounds! After three years I can take the test to be naturalised as a British citizen and have dual citizenship which sounds so smarmy.
I'm sure most of this is nonsense for the casual reader of my blog, but if someone desperately seeking answers comes across it, I hope this helps! I remember finding comfort in learning that other couples managed to get through the other side, it's a stressful process, but well worth it in the end.