Languorous Lazy Summer Sunday Opulence (and a recipe for Lazygirl Luxury Linguini)

One thing I love about these lazy summer Sundays is how late it stays light at night. We've got a sunset at around 9:00 these days, it's almost takes me back to those endless summer nights of my Alaskan childhood where it never got dark. Wait a second.... Summer? What's with all this glorious weather we've been having? England? Is that you?

We managed somehow to bring the sunshine home with us from Tucson. Record temperatures in the high 20's (80's to you and me) and in May! It seems England lusciously burst into full spring regalia while we were away. Mix one part torrential rains with one part unseasonably warm weather and Voila! Summer comes early. To celebrate I spoiled my husband with his favorite pasta dish for our patio dinner.
Have I mentioned how lazy I am when it comes to cooking in the summer? It's too hot to be in the kitchen, so this one's quick and easy enough for a weeknight. What you need:
Lazygirl Luxury Linguini

Your favorite pasta - I like Tagliatelle or Fetuccine with this one (but linguini sounded better in the title)
1 bunch asparagus
2 portabello mushrooms
1 zucchini (courgette)
2 cloves garlic (tsp pre-minced stuff)
1 tin crab meat
1 tbsp low fat cream cheese
splash white wine
olive oil

Turn on Alison Krauss' Lonely Runs Both Ways and prepare your veg. With lines like 'you're at your best with that ache in your chest and that worn out song that you play' or 'the people who love me ask me when I'm coming back to town and I say, quite frankly, when they stop building roads' you'll be singing along while your heart is quietly breaking. Anyway, back to preparing your veg:

My mom showed me this trick with asparagus to get the best out of it. That's right, make your asparagus work for you. If you hold a spear with an end in each hand and lightly bend it until it breaks, it will always separate at the toughest point - throw the tough, chewy ends in the compost heap and enjoy the tender tip bits with your pasta. (I prefer to steam my asparagus separately for this recipe, only because I find it gets too soft if I sautee it with the rest of the veg. Your choice.) Scrape out the gills of the mushrooms with a teaspoon - I find that if you scrape gently sideways, against the grain, the gills just peel easily away.


So you've got asparagus steaming and you're chopping the zucchini and mushrooms into bite size pieces. Meanwhile heat a bit of olive oil in a pan and add the garlic as soon as the oil starts to pop. Bring water to a boil, add the pasta. See why this is a weeknight special?


My Dad taught me this trick with pasta to keep the pot from overflowing. You just leave your grandmother's wooden spoon in the pot as it boils - the water's surface tension on the spoon prevents it from overflowing somehow. I don't really get it, but it seems to work. Wise old Dad.

Sautee the veg in the olive oil until the zucchini starts to brown and the mushrooms soften. For the sauce - add the entire tin of crab, including the juice to the pan. Then a glob of cream cheese and a splash of white wine. Mix well as the cream cheese starts to melt and bring to a slight bubble. Drain the pasta and mix it in, adding a little olive oil if it sticks. Add the asparagus and serve immediately.This recipe is best enjoyed on the patio on a hot summer's day with a nice glass of pinot grigio and fur shark looming in the background.


And for dessert..... Raspberry Love.

Add to the blender: fresh raspberries, a banana, plain fat free yogurt, a splash of milk, a splash of vanilla essence, and about a tbsp of cinnamon. Blend and enjoy!

Did you notice how low fat this meal is? The crab is what makes the pasta sauce taste so luxurious, the cream cheese is just there to turn it white so it looks like an alfredo or other decadent pasta sauce. (For even more decadence add extra cream cheese or sour cream/creme fraische and loads of yummy parmesan. ) This makes a good meal for those of you who've just had your gallbladder out and aren't able to tolerate any fats. Or those of you with IBS. And those of you trying to diet. And for the rest of you too. Enjoy.

F is for Flare-up

I want to formally apologize to a certain dear friend of mine who has suffered from IBS long before I ever even dreamed it could happen to me too. I can recall a certain incident involving an emergency shit in someone's unsuspecting hedge in Wallingford on our way down to see the fireworks at Gasworks Park for the 4th of July and my obvious and insensitive annoyance of having to take you back home. There were other occasions too when you complained that you didn't feel well enough to make our dinner date or to come over to some party or another that I was throwing and I sighed in exasperation.

Vengeance is upon me now, and how! All of my eye-rolling and mutterings of 'it can't really be that bad....' started to wane when I began having emergency shits myself, mostly on holiday when dietary indiscretions are inevitable. (Forgive me please for my demarcation of that construction site in Krakow as I was stumbling back to my flat from a late night out with friends, near that pretty little alpine lake in Spain where we just enjoyed a picnic of chorizo and goat's cheese, and that poor little struedel house in Berlin, I enjoyed my wienerschnitzel very much until it turned on me.)

As I'm writing this, I'm writhing in pain from yet another flare up of this weird disorder. I, like many of you I'm sure, thought that IBS was something that was a psychological problem created by stressed out people who if they would just calm down they would feel healthy again like the rest of us. It really wasn't such a big deal, what's the fuss all about? After more than a year of suffering alternating bouts of diarrhea that strikes with cruel precision and often without warning when you're standing in line at the bank, in the car and on a long road trip or going for a run outside Coombe Abbey Country Park and there's not a toilet for 3 miles. And then there's the following weeks of constipation and the painful bloating and discomfort that comes with that and the time spent looking like Hiro from Heroes, stopping time. And then came the medical investigations - some of them invasive, but all of them time consuming, anxiety creating, and ultimately unnecessary.


Why am I going on about this? For one thing, I feel like an ass for being so insensitive (though I don't think ever directly) and not taking the time to understand what a dear friend was going through. It's embarrassing, to say the least, to sheepishly explain that you have to leave the movie cinema immediately or you might explode. I get that now. I also hope to be some kind of advocate for raising awareness about IBS, it's likely that you know someone who has it - they say 1 in 5 Americans will have it at some point in their lifetimes. Some 4 million Brits are affected.

From Heather Van Vorous, IBS expert "IBS is indisputably a physical problem. Simply put, the brain-gut interaction of people with IBS influences their bowel pain perception and motility. In a nutshell, the processing of pain information within the central nervous system varies between normal individuals and those of us with IBS, with the result that we can experience even normal GI contractions as painful. The interactions between our brains, central nervous systems and GI systems are just not functioning properly. We have colons that react to stimuli that do not affect normal colons, and our reactions are much more severe."

This morning, I measured my amazing bloated girth. Even my husband is suspicious that I'm 5 months pregnant, and he knows better. My waist is normally large at 35 inches, but it has today expanded to an incredible 43 inches. I can't bend at the waist. I don't have any clothes that I can wear comfortably, and with the painful contractions from being so blocked up that drop me to my knees on occasion, I'm really not able to leave the house today.