When I first turned up in Prague (or When Being an Expat was Exciting)

I think rule number one when blogging should be; Do Not Post When You're Blue.

Sooo not real life, right? I mean, real life means that sometimes you're down, you have bad days (and hopefully good ones!) but to ignore the bad means that you miss out on that whole range of emotion that sometimes feels so good to feel so bad. Tonight is the kind of night that you've got Damien Rice on repeat and bottle of red wine near at hand. There's a secret part of me that loves this kind of thing.

I'm not so much sad as I am homesick. I try to remind myself that it's okay to miss tacos, KEXP, the Cascades, raccoons, girl scout cookies, driving on the right, Bumbershoot, shrimp cocktail, beer that's served cold, the Daily Show, orcas, Reeses Pieces, Halloween, baseball, having friends nearby to count on when times turn grey. I constantly have to remind myself that one day I won't go into a grocery store and have everyone I interact with say, "Alright? So where are you from then?" even after having left the states OVER TWO YEARS AGO, and inevitably having to grudgingly answer the requisite, "So how do you like living in the UK then?" with my pre-rehearsed answers. Most of the time I wish I could just leave the store with my indecent amount of chocolate, anonymously, just like everyone else in Britain does.

I'm thinking tonight of the excited anticipation I left Seattle with two years ago when the world was still bigger than I am now. I turned up in Prague at six in the morning with the Charles Bridge all to myself. This bloke here, St John of Nepomuk - a Czech Martyr, is supposed to grant you one wish per lifetime when you rub the inscription below him with hope in your heart. Man, there was so much hope in my heart back then.

Am I feeling let down by St John of Nepomluk? Not really. He granted my wish, and I'm now married to him. Do I miss all that hope in my heart? Absolutely. Even the most romantic autumn in Warwickshire can become routine. C'mon, heart! Rekindle the love! Inertia, by definintion, means standing still from time to time. How come I find it so hard?

Here's some more of that auspicious Prague morning on the Karluv Most....

I started a new book today, and maybe this is what's got my head spinning. Have you read Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia? It's by Elizabeth Gilbert and you can find it on amazon by clicking here.


I haven't gotten far enough into to it to tell if I'm going to love it or hate it yet, there are all these religious allusions that I sometimes find overwhelming and a bit annoying. That said, however, I can totally relate to the first 7 chapters I've read (well, listened to on my i-pod) and they have really brought to the surface this sea of discontent that had been brewing for some time. It's not discontent really, just frustration at the situation of being so far from home and everyone I love. The idea that I haven't met my sister's third kid yet and he just had his first birthday last week absolutely breaks my heart. My best friend's getting married next summer and it's going to cost us a mere $2600 to fly home for it! That's insane. Crazy!

I've found England a really difficult place to meet people who I click with. Or just meet people in general. The culture is just soooo reserved. It's really strange because I've always found it really easy to make friends and my friends have always been an important part of my life. You know, the second family sort of thing. I'm learning about this whole other side of myself here, and it's a little scary. At the same time I'm sort of exploring creative outlets I was never able to experiment with while travelling so much, and thus, why the blog. And sometimes that's hard when you've never slowed down long enough to examine all of that who am I? business.

Speaking of creative outlets, did I mention I got a sewing machine today? Yippee! And for free! I just now have to decide what I'm going to make first.... Woot!